BEST JOKE COMPETITION

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.

"Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an INDIAN ... !!!

Current Vacencies in BroadRidge

Here is yet another opportunity for you to ascribe to the effort to attract talent for the open position/s in ICI and ICS Team. Please see the details below:

Mainframe:
Job Code : MFM ;
· 3 - 4 years+ of experience software development in Mainframe environment
· Expertise in development and maintenance of Mainframe applications using COBOL, JCL, VSAM, CICS and DB2.
· Strong analytical ability with good presentation and communication skills


Java:
Job Code: Java ;
· 3 - 5 years+ of experience on Java/J2EE, XML, XSLT, XPath, JAXB
· Should have experience on IDE: Eclipse and JBOSS application server
· Experience on Oracle (10 g) database and content management tool – Xerox Docushare
· Strong analytical ability with good presentation and communication skills

B.Sc / M.Sc Fresher/s:
Job Code: Generic

· 0 - 1 year of experience
· Hands On knowledge of MS-Excel and MS-Access
· Flexible to work in night shift
· Good communication skills
· Preferred Optional Skills
· Knowledge of COBOL and JCL Language
· B.Sc/ M.Sc (IT,CS, EC or Mathematics)

Heart pendents

Bank uses goons, fined Rs 55 lakh

In a judgement that reinforces RBI's recent warning to banks on the strong-arm tactics of their collection agents, the State Consumer Commission has slapped a fine of Rs 55 lakh on ICICI Bank for trying to recover a vehicle loan by hiring "goons". They had forcibly dragged out a youth from the car, beaten him up with iron rods and left him bleeding as they drove away with the vehicle.

The recovery agents hadn't even cared to establish the identity of the man they had beaten up - he wasn't the car owner who had defaulted on the bank's installments. He was merely accompanying the owner who was not present on the spot. "We hold ICICI Bank guilty of the grossest kind of deficiency in service and unfair trade practice for breach of terms of contract of hire-purchase/loan agreement by seizing the vehicle illegally," said Justice J D Kapoor, president of the commission.

"The commission has imposed punitive damages of Rs 55 lakh upon ICICI Bank. Of this amount, Rs 50 lakh is to be deposited in favour of the State Consumer Welfare Fund (for legal aid) and a compensation of Rs 5 lakh, including the margin money paid by the borrower towards the loan amount, has to be given to the complainant for the sufferings caused by the bank’s agents in a brutal and boorish manner because of which a youth was hospitalized for more than two weeks and received 17 stitches on his skull and back."

The car belonged to one Tapan Bose, a builder, who had taken a loan from ICICI Bank on May 25, 2005, to buy a Maruti Swift. The recovery agents started hounding him when three of his cheques bounced. According to Bose, the bank had sent no notice saying his installments were not regular.

On January 8, 2007, Tapan had gone to a club near Ferozeshah Kotla, along with his friend's 21-year-old son, Vinod Kumar. As Bose went inside, Vinod waited for him in the car.

A lender liability law on the cards

Harassed bank customers may soon get relief, with the government and RBI reportedly considering a “lender liability” law to fix lending terms and conditions and crack down on unfair recovery means. The law, if it comes into effect, could penalize banks for levying hidden charges or sitting on no-due certificates. RBI is already known to have threatened legal action against banks using strong-arm tactics.

Information source:

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Bank_uses_goons_fined_Rs_55_lakh/articleshow/2521719.cms